- Adventures in Ennu Nowhere Fast
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The Top 5 Most Boring Cities
On Planet Earth
"Where Dreams Go To Die"
#5
Singapore
The Happy Dictatorship where the Thought Police give tickets for wearing headphones or chewing gum in public. It's just a clean, convenient place to stop over before moving on.
Singapore: Where efficiency meets soul-crushing conformity. Every street looks the same, every rule is enforced, and every spontaneous moment is taxed.
#4
Brussels, Belgium
A beer and chocolate city of red tape and Eurocrats.
Brussels: Where the best things (beer and chocolate) can't save you from the bureaucratic nightmare of EU politics. It's like being trapped in a meeting that never ends, with waffles.
Even world-class beer and chocolate can't make paperwork interesting.
#3
Houston, Texas
No crude oil types here - only bean counters and engineers. Everything you want in a city and less.
Houston: A sprawling concrete testament to suburban mediocrity. It's got everything you'd expect from a major city, just with all the personality carefully extracted by committees.
"We have problems" - but boring ones.
#2
Oslo, Norway
Plain Vanilla - Safe cars and suicidal winters. A Big parking lot with the most beautiful looking zombies on the planet. Where even chickens get to cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Oslo: Where Scandinavian perfection meets soul-crushing predictability. It's so safe and orderly that spontaneity has been legislated out of existence.
#1
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Sexual Apartheid - Any country that bans the mermaid logo from Starbucks has issues - Cancel my subscription. Its silence is the most perfect expression of its own scorn.
Riyadh: The undisputed champion of urban tedium. Where fun goes to die and even coffee shop logos are too exciting for public consumption.
When silence becomes the loudest statement a city can make.